Justice, Thy Name is Archie
by Infiniti Z
Summary: (Part 2 UP - finally!) The only witness to a murder, will Archie come forward?
1. Part One

All in the Family: Justice, Thy Name is Archie

By: ZerOmegaDark

***

PART ONE

***

_*It is after work for Archie, who has stopped off at Kelsey's bar before going home. He is sitting talking to his best friend, Barney Hefner, whose dog, Rusty, has left another "delivery" for Archie this morning.*_

"Will you calm down, Arch," says Barney.

"Whaddaya mean, 'calm down'? How would like finding an unexpected 'gift' on _your_ porch in the morning?"

"I'd appreciate it."

"If it was from Rusty?"

"Well Arch, it's the thought that counts," Barney laughs and ribs Archie.

Archie looks at him in digust.

"Ahhh..."

"Look pal, all kidding aside, he's just doing what comes natural."

"Well, nature don't belong on my porch. I live in Queens, not a rainforest."

Archie looks at his watch.

"Geez, look at the time. I gotta get outta here."

As Archie heads to the door, he turns to Barney_._

"Now I'm warning you Barney, if that mutt of yours makes anymore 'deliveries' on my porch, you're gonna be gettting some 'returrn-to-senders'."

Barney groans and goes back to drinking as Archie leaves.

_*As Archie is walking home, there appears to be no one else around. As he walks around a corner Suddenly hears a commotion coming from an alley. A gunshot is soon heard. Archie goes back around the block and peeks from around the corner. He sees to black men running towards a black Cadillac and speed away. Archie slowly walks back around the corner and heads slowly and cautiously towards the alley he saw the men run out of. He looks inside the alley and is shocked by what he sees.*_

"Oh my God."

_*Back at the Bunker House, dinner is already on the table as Edith, Mike, and Gloria are sitting at it. They figured Archie probably stopped off at the bar or got stuck on the subway again, so they are not too concerned about him being late.*_

"Gee, I hope Daddy gets home soon," Gloria says.

"Yeah, me too," says Mike.

"Mike, are you concerned about Archie," asks Edith.

"Not exactly, Ma. I'm concerned about the mood he'll be in."

"What do you mean, honey?"

"Gloria, you know as well as I do that whenever Archie comes home late, he comes in a bad mood and the later he is, the worse his mood is."

"Well, yeah..."

"Oh, Mike, maybe Archie will come home in a _good_ mood for a change."

Mike gives Edith a look of disbelief.

"Do you honestly believe that, Ma?"

"Well, no...but it don't hurt to be hopeful."

"Look, I'll bet you within a minute of coming home, he'll slam the door, call me a Meathead, and start ranting about his lousy day. You just -- uh-huh, I think I hear him now. You'll see."

Archie walks slowly through the door with a blank look on his face and shuts it quietly. Edith runs up to him_._

"Hello, Archie."

"Yeah, hi there, Edith," he answers unemotionally as he hangs his hat and coat.

Gloria and Mike greet him as well.

"Hi, Daddy."

"Hi, Arch."

"Gloria. Mike," still without feeling as he goes to sit in his chair.

Mike is stunned.

"He didn't call me Meathead, he didn't slam the door, and he not ranting about his lousy day. Something must be wrong," he says silently to Gloria.

"Yeah. Hey Daddy, are you all right?"

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm great there. I've never felt better I...uh, no. Not really...not at all."

"What's the matter, Archie," asks a concerned Edith.

Archie just looks at Edith struggling to speak. Edith now sits in her chair next to Archie. Mike and Gloria sit on the couch now intent on hearing what is troubling Archie.

"Archie...what is it," Edith asks with greater concern.

Archie just looks at her for a minute and finally speaks though seemingly with great difficulty.

"Well, Edith...uh, I think I may have...witnessed a murder."

Archie sighs heavily as everyone looks at him in shock.

***

end part one


	2. Part Two

All in the Family: Justice, Thy Name is Archie

By: ZerOmegaDark

***

PART TWO

***

_*Still at the Bunker house, the family is still stunned by what Archie has told them -- he was witness to a murder.*_

Edith is still in disbelief.

"Murder? Oh my....Archie, are you sure?"

"Certainly, I'm sure Edith! I seen it with my own two eyes!"

"Well, what happened Arch," questions Mike.

"Well, I'm coming from Kelcy's see, I'm on my way home, and all of a sudden I turn a corner and hear two gunshots coming from an alley. So I go back around the corner, I peek around there and I see the two colored guys racing out of the alley, jumping into a Cadillac and speed off. Then when I figure it's all clear, I go towards the alley and look inside...and...I see this guy laying there...shot..."

Archie says the last word with great difficulty.

"...dead."

"Oh, Daddy..."

"What did cops say, Arch?"

"They didn't say nothing."

"Nothing at all?"

"Well, Meathead, it is kinda hard for them to say something if they ain't there."

"You mean you didn't call the police?!"

"Certainly not, stupid! You want me to be the next target of the them hoodlums?!"

"Archie, you gotta go to the police and tell them what you saw," Edith pleads.

"Listen to me Edith, as far as the cops are concerned I didn't see nothin'."

"Daddy, the right thing to do is to go to the police."

"Little girl, the right thing for me to do for me and my family is to forget this ever happened. And youse all forget what I told youse here."

Edith starts to speak.

"But Archie..."

"Case closed."

"You gotta..."

"_Case closed,_ Edith."

"If you don't go to the police Arch, the case will _never_ be closed."

Archie becomes infuriated.

"Now that's enough, damn it! I don't want to hear another word about this! It's over with and forgot! Let the cops handle this on the own and leave me out of it!"

Mike and Gloria simply stare at Archie for a few seconds then get up and head for the coat rack.

"Where are youse two going?"

"Away from you," Gloria says firmly as she and Mike put on their coats and head out the door.

Archie turns to Edith.

"Can you believe them two?"

"Yes, I can Archie."

She quickly gets up and goes to leave as well.

"Aw geez, now don't tell me you're pulling this too."

She opens the door and turns to Archie still sitting in his chair.

"Archie, I didn't think it was possible but for the first time since we've been married, I'm actually ashamed to be your wife."

She turns quickly and goes out the door, slamming it behind her.

Archie simply sighs to himself as he sits in his chair...alone.

***

end part two


End file.
